Now that Pablo Numbnuts has been installed as the new leader of UKIP, perhaps Nigel Farage can get on with the process of emigrating up Donald Trump’s backside. Alas, even if the ‘anti-establishment’ ex-commodities broker does fulfill his wish, it is doubtful we will have seen the last of him. But what of his successor?
Up until now, the only real impact UKIP has had in Scotland, is the extent to which we must suffer the inexplicable, inexcusably disproportionate air time given over to the comical calamity that is David Coburn. Scotland has been, for the most part, all but immune, to the malady that is the UK Independence Party.
You might point to Brexit, but I would argue that festering euroscepticism within the Conservative Party, and David Cameron’s desire to lance that particular boil, had more to do with the former Prime Minister’s (retrospectively?) self-destructive decision to call the referendum, than any threat posed by UKIP.
We know there is little, or nothing, to distinguish those on the eurosceptic right of the Tory Party, from members of UKIP. In fact, defections from the Tories to UKIP, might almost be described as commonplace, with Douglas Carswell and Neil Hamilton being the amongst the most prominent to do so.
In a departure from his predecessors, Mr Numbnuts has ideas that would affect Scotland, beyond maintaining her place in the Union. He thinks it is a good idea to “get rid of the Barnett Formula”, something I would wager, terrifies the self-loathing Scots, who are already railing against the prospect of a second independence referendum, lest it succeed, and leave them twa’ groats per annum, or whatever, worse off.
Dispensing with the Barnett Formula, and letting Scotland “get on with funding their own services”, as Numbnuts puts it, is not necessarily a bad thing. Provided, that is, it coincides with Scottish independence.
The new Kipper-in-Command, has also said that whilst he and his party “believe in the United Kingdom” they will nonetheless “champion a fair devolution deal for England” and “promote the English”. Nothing wrong with any of that, as long as it is not to the detriment of Scotland-which it almost inevitably would be.
Whilst it is not in itself, a bad thing, that Numbnuts recognizes that the UK’s archaic institutions are in dire need of reform, he has come to this conclusion, for all the wrong reasons. He believes there needs to be change, not because it is the right thing to do, but because as he sees it, England is getting a raw deal.
For example, Mr Numbnuts thinks it unfair, that “Scots should vote on English-only matters”, which, if we give him the benefit of the doubt, and assume he meant Scottish MP’s (rather than all Scot’s, including those who serve English constituencies), is not altogether unreasonable.
I, and many others, have long argued that there needs to be an English Parliament. The House of Commons is NOT the English Parliament, despite the fact that it many ways, it effectively has to double up as such, due to the UK’s haphazard constitutional arrangements.
The solution offered up by the new UKIP leader, is one that Broon the Bampot would be proud of-federalism. Of a sort. In simple terms, the Scots, Northern Irish and Welsh would be evicted from the House of Commons, which would then become the English Parliament (along the lines of Holyrood presumably). Meanwhile, the House of Turds would give way to an elected Senate, comprising of members from the four nations, becoming the UK Parliament.
How, you might ask, is any of this relevant, since it is highly unlikely that UKIP will ever be in a position, to bring any of it about. But is that so, can we be sure about it? Who knows where we will be, by the time the next general election comes around. If by then, Brexit has still not happened, or is seen to have been botched, anything is possible.
Yet again, Scotland would be powerless to resist, whatever it is that our larger neighbour decides for us. It is unlikely that Pablo Numbnuts ‘federal’ UK would be a union of equals. Besides, fiscal autonomy and federalism are no longer enough. The only way Scotland can be sure to be free from ever more right wing government, is to give the English what they deserve. We must give England her own Parliament and we do it by seizing our independence,
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